At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
