By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
