My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
