I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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