I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
