i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
