I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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