Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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