please come you make the beer taste better
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
