Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
