I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
MIDGETS
????
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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