that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
