mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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