Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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