so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
