But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
