After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
