Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
