Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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