i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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