Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
