well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You are the jesus of drinking
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
