I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
