I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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