It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
