Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my shit smells like andre
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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