Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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