there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
