PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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