Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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