i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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