Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
