how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize