Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
