My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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