Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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