discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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