Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
