Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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