i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and she was petting her beer can
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
