K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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