You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My feet surprised me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
