I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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