i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
