Its about making memories worth repressing
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
