what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
