Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize