I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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