I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
