I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
