one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
