thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
