he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
