They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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