What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
