I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
