woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
