Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
