Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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