I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
