She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
50% drunk capacity currently
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
