i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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