Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
