i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
