Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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