Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
