It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
