he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
