So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
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