Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
